IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
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These days government place a premium on industries in different ways.
Government
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The government
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 argues, that businesses should move to the countries. In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 plan. To advance a convincing theory for the benefits I could deal with pollution. In big cities, due to the variety of factories around them, they have water, air and sound pollution. That it has had
ill
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an ill
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 effect on human health.
In addition
 to what I have just said,
this
 cause
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overpopulation
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over population
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overpopulation
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. On the grounds that people from vicinity immigrate to cities to find better jobs with good perks.
As a result
, it has been causing traffic
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on
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in roads
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inroads
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 inside and outside the town. They
also
 burn a lot of fuel. A
third
 feature which I should mention is for some positions, there
are
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is
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 no
labor
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labour
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 force,
as a result
 of
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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 higher education.
Although
this
 change has many benefits, it
also
 has some bad effects too. The
first
 thing I should mention is there are fewer
employs
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employees
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 there, most of the workers must
come
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tocome
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 drive
a lone
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alone
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 distance to work.
That is
 really expensive these days because of the high cost of fuel.
Additionally
, people who live in
village
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the village
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 don’t have the competence to be a manager or have a good position due to
the
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their
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 lack of knowledge.
For instance
, a friend of mine owns a company near Fasa. Every time I see him, he
complanes
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complains
 about
heiring
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hearing
hiring
 a good worker. To conclude,
government
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the government
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 should be aware of its benefits and costs.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • decentralization
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • rural revitalization
  • overcrowding
  • resource allocation
  • talent retention
  • commuter issues
  • regional development
  • corporate relocation
  • workforce migration
  • urban-rural divide
What to do next:
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