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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience .

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These days using the
internet
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change
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changes
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 our daily basis and becoming controversial.
While
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 some claim that the
internet
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cause
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causes
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 drawbacks in life, others believe there are many benefits from automation. I agree that social media and the
internet
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 have more benefits.
This
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 essay will examine the reasoning behind my opinion.
To begin
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 with, there are several advantages of machinery ,especially the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. The most important thing is it convenient for people to meet each other.
This
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 means that they can set the schedule for
meeting
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meetings
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 easily. A clear example of
this
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 is business companies can
use
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 the function in the mail to send to every employee so, they can acknowledge the time. Another thing to consider is people can make acquaintances easier because social media is connected to users and they can text from a long distance.
In addition
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, one significant thing is
internet
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help
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helps
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 individuals to approach knowledge from everywhere they want to learn.
In other words
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, they can study more conveniently and there is a diversity of topics on many platforms on the
internet
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. A good case in point is high school students in Thailand learn in the online system during the COVID pandemic and the
internet
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 is used for searching and facing with their tutors, So they
use
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this
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 technology to apply real-life study.
Additionally
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, the
internet
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 contains
varieties
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a variety
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 of content which everyone can
use
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such
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 as
,
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apply
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 entertainment,
documentary
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documentaries
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 and, music. In conclusion, it seems to me that the effects of the
internet
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 will help every people on the positive side. If we
use
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this
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 technology for development and convenience, it will improve our life to
be
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apply
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less of wasting time.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide clearer connections between your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include transition words and phrases to improve overall flow.
coherence and cohesion
Revise sentence structures for clarity; some sentences are a bit awkward.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion and provided relevant examples.
task achievement
Your points about the internet's convenience and access to information are insightful and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • accessible
  • democratizes
  • e-commerce
  • empower
  • mobilize
  • negatives
  • positives
  • globalization
  • convenience
  • informational age
  • personal development
  • social media platforms
  • activism
  • community mobilization
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