Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than cultural of other parts of the works. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #focus #works #show #history #culture #country #parts

Nowadays, the majority of people think that galleries and

museums

should exhibit the local culture and

history

rather than showing

arts

from other parts of the

world

. I totally disagree with

this

statement, and in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will support my opinion with arguments.

First

of all, the

museums

are

unique

Add an article

a unique

show examples

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

where people can see all the elements of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

from different parts of our

world

To begin

with,

museums

which provide

arts

of other cultures, not only

country’s

Correct article usage

the country’s

show examples

local habits, are more popular

among

Change preposition

show examples

society.

As a result

of different cultural expositions, people are more interested to discover the ancient

arts

Moreover

, cultural exhibits attract a great number of tourists, and it results in

fact

Add an article

the fact

show examples

that the local government

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

more money from taxes from the travel and tourism industry.

Secondly

, the art institutions should not only show the overseas

history

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

present native cultural

history

for visitors. Galleries should demonstrate the

heritage’s

Change noun form

heritage

show examples

language and traditions

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that the society knew

lifestyle

Correct article usage

the lifestyle

show examples

of the past generations. As an example, the British Museum exhibition in London is not only about historical events

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

world wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

, but

also

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has British

history

in one of its halls. As a consequence,

place

Add an article

the place

show examples

attracts

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international tourists and as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

citizens. To sum up, I strongly believe that

museums

and art galleries should not be divided by the national or international

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

. Art attractions should represent both local and overseas cultures to the public.

Additionally

, having

arts

from different parts of the

world

Correct your spelling

show examples

useful

Correct article usage

a useful

show examples

subject for

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

and pupils.

Submitted by maryanach12 on Sun May 29 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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