IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsary part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #compulsary #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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In
this
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 contemporary world, the advent of BV technology is enhancing day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
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life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, communities argue that students should want to be
sociable
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a sociable
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 and voluntary
worker
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workers
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 in their school
lifetime
Replace the word
life
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 and
this
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 subject should be compulsory for all youngsters. Certainly, I completely agree with
this
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 statement and I will elaborate on my opinion.
To begin
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 with, wherever charity tasks assist
to
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apply
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adolescents to develop their good qualities in their
life
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.
For example
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, younger people who are willing to do helping others in their
life
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, always attempt to care about their surroundings and try to improve their noble qualities like optimism, working spirit,
caring
Correct word choice
and caring
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 for others.
As a result
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, it has impacted in a positive manner and
attain
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attains
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 to progress their personality
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their young age.
In addition
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, youth age learners attain to get
others
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others'
other's
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 attention to do these sociable tasks and they flock to assist needy people in their society.
For instance
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,
Add an article
the
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younger community tried to
helping
Wrong verb form
help
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 their junior's sports practices and neighbourhoods in their troublesome situations.
Consequently
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, other non-voluntary workers are impacted by these noble qualities and whenever they
also
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 would
attempt
Add the particle
toattempt
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 do
such
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 sociable and productive tasks for needy humans. In conclusion, from my perspective, I believe charity-related subjects should be want to implement as
a
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an
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 essential learning sector in
students
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students'
student's
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 curriculum. If we are able to
these
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do these
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 things, we have
get
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got
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 enormous amounts of benefits
for
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in
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 our
life
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. Unless we think about our
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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, we will be
corner
Wrong verb form
cornered
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 by human beings. Since
in
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apply
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our school
time
Add a comma
,time
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 we have
work
Wrong verb form
worked
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 in charities and it paves the way to acquire responsibilities and to fulfil challenges in our lifetime.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

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