In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #adult #punishment

In some countries

Change the article

the

show examples

number of delinquencies committed by juveniles are increasing,

that is

why humanity considers that all crimes despite their age should receive equal

judgment

Replace the word

justice

show examples

. Actually, I agree with

this

statement and to my

mind

Add a comma

,mind

show examples

the sentence should be for all

people

. I am going to give a couple of arguments.

First

of all, the punishment was made to avoid dangerous situations and to improve the lives of

people

because crime is dreadful.

Thus

people

who made an atrocity can think about their decision and maybe choose the right side. In

this

situation, teenagers are encouraged to commit a crime, because they know that their punishments will be light.

For instance

, in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

country where drugs are

illegal

Add a comma

,illegal

show examples

a young person sold

this

stuff and he didn't bear the blame. So, adults and children should be punished equally which is independent of their ages.

Secondly

, after their

punishment

Add a comma

,punishment

show examples

they can realize that wrongdoing is nasty. In my opinion, it is the main point why not only adults

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

teens have to go to prison after their

offense

Fix the agreement mistake

offenses

show examples

Furthermore

, the harsher the punishment will be, the better it will be for little ones. I support the opinions of the myriad

people

who commit similar crimes. It is

also

good to make the same legislation in the world to reduce the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of misdeeds. In conclusion, I would like to say that only judgment can stop crime in the world and it's the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

way to achieve world peace.

Submitted by Alexandrdr.35 on Mon May 30 2022

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

juvenile delinquency
criminal behavior
rehabilitation
recidivism
adolescent development
retribution
impulse control
the justice system
societal influences
environmental factors
juvenile justice
punitive measures
adult incarceration
youth crime
reformative programs
deterrence
mitigating circumstances
restorative justice
correctional facilities
peer pressure

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In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis in individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interest. Is this is a positive or negative development?

some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and the society. Do you agree or disagree. Give your opinion.