IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

he Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some belive that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it to what extend do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Educating children is considered a number one preference by the
government
Use synonyms
 in all nations. Some bodies contend that adult
education
Use synonyms
 is vital for social development and the
government
Use synonyms
 should fund
more on
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it .
This
Linking Words
 essay strongly disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it is a burdensome task for adults and we can use the funds for state developments. Some opine that a course of study for adults is necessary for a better society. For adults, learning is a laborious process, especially if they have no intention to learn. Children can learn easily because the human brain development is fast during
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
childhood. The young brain could
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapt
show examples
 fast,
whereas
Linking Words
 the grasping force for
grown-up
Fix the agreement mistake
grown-ups
show examples
 would be challenging. To illustrate, the
government
Use synonyms
 prioritized child
education
Use synonyms
 to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the literature level high in the country. Some kids could not pursue basic
education
Use synonyms
 to due
destituteness
Replace the word
destitution
show examples
.
young
Capitalize word
Young
show examples
 people, who are good at studies are unable to continue their schooling because of family poverty and the impacts are profound on society.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should fund more to literate kids like them by providing more options like free food, free books and
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 that would encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people in poverty to send their kids to school
instead
Linking Words
 of work.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, students are given free meals and study materials in public schools which draws more candidates to the institutes. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that more funds allocated to child
education
Use synonyms
 could encourage the literacy level of future generations and adult schooling will be a burden to people , who cannot read and write
due to
Linking Words
 age.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that every point you make in the essay directly relates to the main topic and question. Be clear and consistent in your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the organization and flow of your essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and make your essay easy to follow.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more complex and varied words and phrases. This will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure. Use different sentence types, including complex and compound sentences, to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: