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Writing Samples
Band 6

People should look after their health for personal benefits, rather than a duty for a society. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society
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Many
people
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 believe that the
fact
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 that
people
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 should look after their
health
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 for personal benefit,rather than as a duty to society. In my opinion opening,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with
this
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 view for several reasons.  The main reason why I believe that
people
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 should take care of their
health
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 for personal benefits is that
people
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 who have good
health
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 can work productively. In
fact
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, these
people
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 build a healthy lifestyle and have positive thinking.
This
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 means that they could earn large sums of money, so they may be saving up for a long time or buying what they like.
For example
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, reports show that officers usually go gyms to where they can keep fit and boost their immune system, and their salary is higher than the other.  Another reason why I hold
this
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 view is that a
country
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 where the rate of
people
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 dying from the disease is not high is a developed
country
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. In
fact
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, a number of sick
people
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 are easy failing to make ends meet because they do not have enough
health
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 to work.
This
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 means that the government of those countries doesn't need to spend a lot of money, which can help patients receive treatments.
For example
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, the
fact
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 that Sweden, where there is the rate of
people
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 suffering from cancer is the lowest in the world results in a
country
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 of happiness  In conclusion, I strongly believe that
people
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 take care of their
health
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instead
Linking Words
 of duty to society because the working productivity of
people
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 with good
health
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 and a
country
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 where
people
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 are less sick is developing.
Submitted by bkarn5422 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
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