IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

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Whilst many individuals like travelling and seeking new adventures as a way of challenging themselves, there is a group that refuses to leave their comfort zone. In my opinion, if someone wants to try something, they should do it instantly as new experiences add new values to
people
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 on different levels. On one hand, there is a huge segment afraid of digging into new adventures.
In other words
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, if we take the psychological side into consideration, we can find that
people
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 have some insecurity issues.
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,
this
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 segment always tends to choose options they already know.
For example
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, the inflation that many countries have prompts several families to be careful when it comes to making decisions.
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, travelling to a foreign country cannot be done without some financial assessments to investigate the possibility of travel.
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, the economic situation plays a vital role in how
people
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 spend their leisure time.
On the other hand
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, adventurers are always seeking new experiences to fulfil their desires.
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, the majority know that discovering new places will boost their interpersonal skills through contact with different cultures.
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, contributing to global events
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 as food events that are made by culture ambassadors qualifies many
people
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 to have multiple connections, which will be quite significant in life.
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, human beings’ minds have unlimited abilities to learn new skills
as a result
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 of multiple experiences throughout life.
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,
after
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this
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 essay, what can be said is that the economic situation here is mainly pivotal if we want to evaluate
people
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’s attitudes and habits.
On the contrary
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, for travel lovers, there are no obstacles that stand in their way; they simply do what they want with some planning, of course. I reiterate that new adventures are quintessential as all humans have the right to try new things within the capabilities they have.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of the essay, make sure that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. While transitions are present, further refinement can make the overall argument more fluid.
coherence cohesion
In terms of introduction and conclusion, maintain the clear presentation of your opinion as you have done, but you might want to directly refer back to the key points discussed in the body paragraphs when writing your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To better support your main points, include more detailed examples. Providing specific instances or personal anecdotes can enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While your essay touches on both attitudes and provides an opinion, delve deeper into each perspective for a comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
Work on articulating your ideas with more clarity and depth. Enhancing the complexity of your sentences and ideas could contribute to a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant examples that are explicitly connected to the topic. Specific examples will ground your arguments and provide evidence to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
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