Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Leisure
time
is one of the most precious
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
for many
people
. It is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
outside work that you can spend doing anything your heart
desire
Correct subject-verb agreement
desires
show examples
. There has been a debate whether you should use it for improving your
mind
by doing certain activities or to simply relax. In
this
essay, I will explain why I think
leisure
time
should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
relaxing.
First
and foremost, I believe that the most efficient way to spend
leisure
time
is to relax and rest your
body
. Many
people
think that
leisures
Change the noun form
leisure
show examples
time
should be
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
to improve your
mind
. I firmly believe
this
to be false; mainly because some
people
have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
competitive thinking process,
thoughts
Correct word choice
and thoughts
show examples
such
as “I need to win” are bad in these situations.
For example
, after working for the whole
day
, a person
finally
got
a
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
leisure
time
and he decided to spend it
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing word puzzles.
However
, he is extremely competitive and ended up stressing himself even more than before. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, relaxing will
cooldown
Correct your spelling
cool down
show examples
your brain after a long
day
at work making your
body
rest. Some studies display that a
day
off after working can increase your work efficiency and
stablize
Correct your spelling
stabilize
your mental health. In conclusion, some
people
believe that
leisure
time
should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
improving your
mind
by using certain activities
such
as word puzzles; but another group of
people
think that they should
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
to relax your
body
. In my opinion,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having your
body
rest during a
day
off will give you more
time
to think and calm down
instead
of trying to improve your
mind
.
Submitted by chompunoot.raj on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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