IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say that main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular specious of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #plants #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Biodiversity
Use synonyms
 loss by the ecological breakdown is the most important environmental
problem
Use synonyms
 for some people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 an important amount of people who
underlines
Correct subject-verb agreement
underline
show examples
 the emergency and priority of
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 short essay, I would like to explain why
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is the biggest
problem
Use synonyms
 we have faced and why we should declare a state of emergency in terms of
Use synonyms
climate
Add an article
the climate
show examples
 crisis.
Ecological
Correct article usage
The ecological
show examples
 way of thinking highlights the importance of diversity for a sustainable environment. The circle of life can constantly be strong and sustainable with
biodiversity
Use synonyms
.
Earth
Use synonyms
 is so vulnerable without it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as the extinction of particular species is on the rise faster than nature can heal itself, the loss of
biodiversity
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important problems of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 causes more damage to the environment and prevents nature to heal, and
regenerate
Wrong verb form
regenerating
show examples
 itself. That’s why
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is a bigger
problem
Use synonyms
 than
biodiversity
Use synonyms
 at
first
Linking Words
 sight.
Secondly
Linking Words
, because of the immense amount of greenhouse gas
emissions
Add a comma
,emissions
show examples
 there is quite a big chance for the total end of life on
Earth
Use synonyms
 much earlier than
biodiversity
Use synonyms
 loss can emerge too. The atmosphere is already warmed more than one degree. An important amount of scientists
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that it is possible for the
earth
Use synonyms
 to be approximately 3 degrees hotter than it was in pre-industrial times at the end of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century. If we keep in mind that it is unliveable for humans with 4 degrees of global warming, being aware of the priority level of
this
Linking Words
 crisis will be in our favour.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
climate
Use synonyms
 crisis is the biggest
problem
Use synonyms
 we are facing today. We need to act as soon as possible to secure life on
Earth
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by topcu.bahar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: