IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Te growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#te #growth #shops #towns #cities
Development of the internet and other online tools provide a desirable condition for new jobs particularly virtual sales and most online stores. Some people predict that progress at online shops may affect the actual business and even worse, it may close them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 issue
then
 followed by my point of view. Nowadays, because of the development of the internet around the world as well as equipping all people with smartphones and computers, provide easy access to any place. of the world from
for example
 popular stores or brand clothes to a branch of the bank or financial companies can offer their products or services online without any branch or actual place or showroom.
Moreover
, since the cost of providing the appropriate buildings and location is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main cost of any shop and
then
, other costs
such
 as bills and employee payroll costs and so on store owners prefer to expand virtual branches and use online methods. And recently new pandemic create
a new conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
new conditions
a new condition
show examples
 in which all the people had to use online shopping. All these reasons
also
 entrancing the modern and busy life provide a new situation which most of the shopping and even famous brands decided to close their store. In fact, it is a part of the modernization of society
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
 replacing credit cards with cash or electronic banking
instead
 of traditional banks. In conclusion, due to all reasons and as far as I know, coming soon virtual stores replace actual shopping. So all business owners have to increase their knowledge about online space.
Submitted by salehi19862 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: