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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
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In the modern era,
people
 are concerned about climate change due to the effect of industries. It is true that governments are encouraging factories and businesses to change to the regional
areas
instead
 of working in the big cities. My view is that the pros outweigh the cons. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine both sides in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, relocating to the regional
areas
 can reduce the release of toxic gases into the air. The harmful gases, affect the life of the
people
 who are living near the factory and in the long term, can be detrimental to their health.
For example
, according to the survey, there is an increasing rate of
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffering from asthma every year.
Besides
, it will reduce the lifestyles of the
city
's
people
 and
then
 affects the landmark of the
city
.
Thus
, the government are encouraged to move these factories as it makes not only worse the
city
's environment but
also
 affects human health.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some downsides to moving from big cities to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
areas
.
Firstly
, the workers who are working in industries have to go farther rather than going to the
city
. It needs to consider extra time for travelling to reach their factories.
Secondly
, if something happens at the factory, it might be difficult to get help in time. As
such
 it can be concluded,that I am profoundly convinced that the industry and business move to regional
areas
. Despite the fact that the pros of
this
 phenomenon outweigh the cons.
Submitted by eiphyo2021 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • decentralization
  • sustainable development
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • rural revitalization
  • overcrowding
  • resource allocation
  • talent retention
  • commuter issues
  • regional development
  • corporate relocation
  • workforce migration
  • urban-rural divide
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