IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An ageing population is affecting parts of the world

#population #parts #world
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“People a lifetime couldn'
t
Use synonyms
 avoid death and ageing.According to
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
sentence
Add a comma
,sentence
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 we could know about human
beings
Change noun form
beings'
being's
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 life must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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experience ageing progress and pass away.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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,the world population have been increasing too faster,
therefore
Linking Words
 the experts
worried
Add a missing verb
are worried
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 about
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
Change preposition
of society
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society
Change noun form
society's
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 medical resource and economically
developed
Replace the word
development
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.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 we will discuss
this
Linking Words
effect
Use synonyms
 and
causes
Correct pronoun usage
its causes
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. “The major cause of medical resource was serious insufficient to support elder.The
effect
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 of hospitals and human resources burden couldn'
t
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 continuous given to elder people or
lived
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tolived
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 be hospitalized patients not good in enough medical system,because of population grow fast have been
bring
Change the verb form
bringing
brought
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 struction variety of age group in the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
 affect financial must to high expenses and medical resource lacking. “The
second
Linking Words
 reason is
labor
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labour
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 market shortage didn'
t
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 have enough young people participate.The
effect
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 of economy developed or lead to corporation management difficulty couldn'
t
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 found
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
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 employee.The
labor
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labour
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 market need
to
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apply
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plenty of
worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
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 who
form
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forms
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 each
Use synonyms
countries
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country's
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 participation career market,due to an ageing population affect many
countries
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 want to figure out a solution,
therefore
Linking Words
 developed
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countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 government used appropriate policy like immigration to
attractive
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attract
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 foreigner
participate
Fix the infinitive
to participate
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 make
countries
Use synonyms
 normally developed and advanced. “The
third
Linking Words
 reason is retirement elder take
care
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 issue.
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
The
effect
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 of
Use synonyms
care
Correct article usage
the care
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 worker requirement problem it's not just only financial expenses
also
Linking Words
 need
Use synonyms
care
Change preposition
for care
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 to support older.
therefore
Linking Words
,
therefore
Linking Words
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 developed retirement communities to take
care
Use synonyms
older
Change preposition
of older
show examples
,which could make a convenient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the management
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management
Replace the word
manage
show examples
Correct article usage
the elder
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elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders
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 and offer comfort
environmental
Replace the word
environment
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
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 nice
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 and 24-hour-a-day,bathing,feeding, laundry etc. The communities have paid a high expense it,but a part of people
could'
Correct your spelling
couldn't
t
Use synonyms
 enough money burden it,I think it will big problem with
currently
Change the adverb
current
show examples
 society
them
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 must found
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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