IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closure of shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this?

With the increasing use of the internet, online shopping has become extremely popular among people. Many argue that online shopping will take over the industry and lead to
shutting
Verb problem
the shutdown
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down
Change preposition
of
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 all the local shops. In my opinion, the local
stores
Use synonyms
 can never completely go out of trend.
This
Linking Words
 essay will talk about the disadvantages of buying
things
Use synonyms
 online and how shopping
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 has many benefits. Online shopping is tempting and convenient
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it comes with many challenges, one of which is the waiting period. Sometimes people want
things
Use synonyms
 urgently
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example, for an event at the office the next day or a party that they were not planning to attend. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, customers want the
things
Use synonyms
 immediately
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 local
stores
Use synonyms
 serve the purpose best because they have the variety and convenience of providing the
product
Use synonyms
 at the time when it is needed. The other disadvantage is the damaged
product
Use synonyms
, a lot of times it happens when the
product
Use synonyms
 received is either damaged or completely different from what was shown in the image,
then
Linking Words
 to get the resolution customer has to reach out to the customer service department, and
then
Linking Words
 return
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
product
Use synonyms
. People like to stay away from
such
Linking Words
 hassles as much as possible.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to online shopping, buying
things
Use synonyms
 from the
stores
Use synonyms
 is much easier and more convenient. There is no waiting period, you can be sure of the products that you bought
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 there is no possibility of getting an incorrect or damaged item.
In addition
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 to these benefits, local
stores
Use synonyms
 ensure you
the
Verb problem
get the
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 fresh produce
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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vegetables and fruits.
Overall
Linking Words
, online shopping could look helpful
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it can never replace the advantages of offline shopping.

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Grammatical accuracy
Use shorter, simpler sentences; avoid long, run-on lines to make meaning clear.
Development
Add 1 or 2 stronger, specific examples to back each point.
Structure
Make each paragraph have a clear main idea with a topic sentence.
Coherence
Use more linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Accuracy
Check spelling and punctuation; keep word use simple and correct.
Task response
Clear stance that local shops will not vanish.
Structure
Intro and conclusion present and the essay follows a good order.
Coherence
Some good points and simple contrast between online and offline shopping.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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