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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn ,and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax
*Compliance with
tax
 has always been a topical
issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
issue
show examples
 from time immemorial. Some individuals think that
people
 should be able to retain all their income, and should not remit tariffs to the
government
.I totally disagree with
this
 notion and
this
 essay will explain why.* *
To begin
, Payment of taxes generates revenues for the
government
.¹ The
government
 ought to be responsible to
her
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens
 in many ways and most of the roles that the
government
 plays require money and if the
people
 do not pay
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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,
then
 the
government
 will be bankrupt and unable to carry out
her
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 responsibilities.³
For example
, countries like
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been noted to fund 80%
Change preposition
of her
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her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 annual budget from taxation of
citizens
 whose needs the
state
 strives to meet.³ Payment of levies is
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 paramount⁴* . *
In addition
,
these payment
Change the determiner
this payment
these payments
show examples
to the
state
 makes the
people
 more responsible¹.
Correct your spelling
Taxpayers
show examples
Tax payers
Correct your spelling
Taxpayers
show examples
 have a sense of responsibilities unconsciously inculcated into them and usually view
state's
Correct article usage
the state's
show examples
 amenities and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 as theirs and often thrive to protect
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. ²
For instance
, a study carried out in Spain revealed that
people
 who paid taxes were
more keen
Replace the words
keener
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 protecting
state owned
Add a hyphen
state-owned
show examples
 amenities than those who did not.³ The need to keep contributing part of one's
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 to the
state
 cannot be overemphasized .⁴* *
Nevertheless
 , the
government
 or handlers of these funds might embezzle or misappropriate them.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 with regular demand from responsible
citizens
 for accountability and strong institutions to punish offenders,
this
 can be reduced to the barest minimum.* *In conclusion, despite the possibility of misappropriation of
tax payers'
Correct your spelling
taxpayers'
show examples
 money, I see. to strongly oppose the idea that the
people
 should keep all the money that they earn and not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay taxes because these levies
generates
Change the verb form
generate
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 income and revenue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
government
 and
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be responsible
citizens
.*
Submitted by gloriasunbae2000 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: