IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
Due to the advancement of the
television
 and the media ,industry
people
 spend most of their
time
 on it. Many
people
 are of the view that it makes everyone lethargic and prevents social interaction whereas, I strongly agree with
this
 and feel that it can have severe effects on everyone. I will
further
, elucidate my opinion on the same.
To begin
 with, there are many advantages of watching
television
 as it helps
people
 to know about the latest happenings around the globe whereas it hampers the eyesight too.
Moreover
, it reduces the activeness among individuals and increases laziness.
For instance
, teenagers these days, rather than going out with their family prefer to spend their
time
 watching the latest cartoons or serials on
television
.They eventually avoid interacting with others because they are too engrossed in the
television
 world. In my opinion, if
this
 situation is not taken care of it can have adverse effects on humans.
Firstly
people
 are not able to make productive use of their
time
. In spite of watching online series,
people
 should focus on their health and fitness.
In addition
 to
this
, parents can
also
 play a crucial role by teaching their children the importance of free
time
 and how to make it useful rather than watching unnecessary channels.Government can
also
 promote the importance of productivity in spare
time
 and socialization. To sum up,
television
 can be watched to help fresh the mind from rigorous work but
people
 should not waste their precious
time
 on it and focus on improving their skills by learning something new.
Submitted by jain78013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: