IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give tour own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #tour
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Their
Replace the word
There
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 is a view that people who work in
profession
Replace the word
professional
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 sectors should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work for the state where they
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 financial support or
job
Use synonyms
 training. Others assert that they should have freedom of occupational choice. I support the latter. There is no doubt that governments support numerous
job
Use synonyms
 seekers to make them get
a
Correct article usage
the
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Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 they want successfully in the future.
Therefore
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, some people argue that the person who got financial aid or got trained by the projects should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work for the nation to pay back.
Furthermore
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, if practitioners continue to go abroad and get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 outside the countries, the nation where they belong could
be falled
Wrong verb form
fall
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in
Change preposition
into
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bad
Add an article
a bad
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 situation caused by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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on
Change preposition
in
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Correct article usage
the
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a working markets
Correct the article-noun agreement
working markets
a working market
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.
For instance
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, a large
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 of
Use synonyms
India
Replace the word
Indian
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 students who study IT in
India
Use synonyms
 go to Taiwan or the USA after
grduate
Correct your spelling
graduate
graduated
 from school in
India
Use synonyms
for looking
Change preposition
to look
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 for a
job
Use synonyms
.
This
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 issue is one of the reasons why
India
Use synonyms
 remains a poor country.
However
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,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 working abroad causes diverse social problems,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 strongly believe that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 applicants must have
a
Remove the article
apply
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freedom of occupational choice.
Also
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,
it is clear that
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 there are abundant advantages.
First,
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practitioners,
such
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 as doctors, can encounter a wider variety of medical cases abroad than domestically, allowing them to broaden their medical knowledge.
This
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 can contribute to enhancing the reputation of the country they studied in.
In addition
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, they can learn
various
Change preposition
about various
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 other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 cultures and could make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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forign
Correct your spelling
foreign
 friends.
Therefore
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 assert that all the young applicants should be guaranteed their freedom of
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
.
To sum up
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,
while
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 it is true that there are opposing views on the issue, I believe that whether one works abroad or in their home state should be left to individual choice.
Submitted by jin960524 on

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Grammar & Spelling
Ensure the spelling and grammar are accurate to maintain clarity and professionalism. For example, 'Their is a view' should be 'There is a view,' and 'falled in bad economy situation' should be 'fall into a bad economic situation.'
Tone & Style
Use a more formal tone and vocabulary consistent with academic writing. Avoid contractions (e.g., replace 'i' with 'I') and informal phrases.
Supporting Evidence
To strengthen your arguments, include more detailed examples and evidence. Specific instances can enhance the persuasive power of your points.
Paragraph Structure
Work on paragraph structure to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding remark if needed.
Balanced Discussion
You've adequately discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is essential for a balanced answer.
Organization
Efficient use of paragraphing to separate different ideas, which aids in the overall organization of your essay.
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