Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the present days, the glamour and prosperity of renowned persons are more being recognised
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
their achievements.
This
phenomenon has sparked heated debate among individuals
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
imitate their celebrities even without thinking
whether
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about whether
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it is appropriate for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
or not.
In
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From
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my standpoint, I totally agree with
this
statement. The forthcoming paragraphs elucidate the relevant reasons with examples to support my opinion. To embark
on
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apply
show examples
, if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
talk about the film
stars
of the present day, they are not spreading any informative and productive information to their followers. To explain it, Youngsters nowadays
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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precious time
read
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reading
show examples
about
stars
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stars'
star's
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life by surfing
on
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apply
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the internet, watching videos, and the movies of favourite
stars
;
as
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apply
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today's
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today
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most
of
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apply
show examples
movies
Add an article
the movies
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are of offensive nature
such
as,
on
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apply
show examples
crime and robbery and watching that material, they only able to learn unlawful behaviour from them.
Moreover
, Young people imitate
Correct your spelling
habits
habbits
Correct article usage
the habbits
show examples
of personalities without even knowing their pros and cons.
As a result
, they get misled and opt for
aweful
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awful
behaviour
that is
unlawful towards society.
Furthermore
, despite
from
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apply
show examples
film
stars
, these days sports
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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more inclined towards prosperity rather than games and showing their talent, because they spend precious time signing up with advertisements companies and earning money.
Consequently
, it
persude
Correct your spelling
persuade
their followers in
wrong
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the wrong
show examples
direction, they always have a thought that
are
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is
show examples
only minting money and enjoying their life.
Therefore
, youngsters would learn them, being international players is just earning money while playing.
For example
,
survey
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a survey
show examples
shows
40
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that 40
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per cent of sports
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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taking
Wrong verb form
take
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drugs while taking part in international or national games.
As a result
which
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are misleading the individuals by persuading them in
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
direction. To sum up,
although
in
90s
Correct article usage
the 90s
show examples
famous personalities were known for their work, talent, and achievements in the different roles they played, in my opinion, nowadays a very few renowned persons are barely known for their accomplishments.
Submitted by raj345355 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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