IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It has been suggested that everyone in the world wants to own a car, a TV, and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweigh the advantages?

#world #car #tv #fridge #development
These days, there is an ongoing debate among folk about their own private motors and other home appliances.
While
 it is possible to petition that owing to numerous upsides
such
 as fast travelling and mobile as a source of enjoyment. My personal stance is that
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
 outweigh the merits. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine both sides in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 With, There are a number of advantages in favour of my stance. The most preponderant is that undoubtedly private vehicles and other automated appliances make life handy and faster.
for instance
, An Asian report indicated that more than 70% of ethnic folk prefer to have their own bike and they can travel owing to the convenient method of transportation.
In addition
 to
this
, there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only does one benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.
On the other hand
, Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
, when only one follows a system, can they broaden their horizons,
hence
 learning these attributes as dedication and perseverance.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 a result, it is apparent why numerous criticize it owing it carries health issues and traffic congestion on the road and watching television for a prolonged time period leads to weak eyesight. to cite an example,A global report indicated that the rapid trend of private motors the rush on the road has elevated and
also
 destruct the natural habitat.
To sum up
,
according to
 the aforementioned arguments, I would like to restate my position that the benefits of private vehicles and
Lcds
Correct your spelling
LCDs
show examples
 are indeed too great to ignore the trouble of public transport in the current age and television provides a source of entertainment.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by providing a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and use specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
You need to address both the advantages and disadvantages of owning private vehicles and home appliances. Be sure to provide a balanced argument and use specific examples to support your points. Also, make sure to clearly state your position on the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: