Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. What extent do you agree or desagree with statement!

People often say that
children
should spend more time outside and less time playing video games. I agree with
this
point of view, and I will use strong arguments in
this
essay to back up my point of view. To start with,
children
's physical health improves when they exercise outside. As more
children
sit around all day, their health is getting worse. But if
kids
can exercise outside, they will spend less time in front of a screen.
This
gives them a chance to breathe fresh air and strengthens their immune systems.
For example
, a study done by Cambridge University found that when students moved outside every day, the number of young people who were overweight dropped by 25% and the number of young people with vision problems went down. From all
this
, it's clear that being outside and moving around is very important for
kids
' health.
Children
can
however
improve their ability to get along with others by doing things outside.
That is
,
kids
are less likely to play video games in front of a screen and more likely to talk to their peers in person. So,
children
are more likely to be able to talk to others with confidence and
also
learn empathy, which is an important social skill for adults.
For example
, psychological research has shown that
kids
who were interested in these things when they were young tend to become outgoing adults with good social skills. To sum up,
this
essay talked about how outdoor activities can not only make
children
healthier but
also
help them learn how to get along with others. I really want
kids
to hang out with their friends outside
instead
of playing video games.
Submitted by rruwwwa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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