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Band 5.5

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centers is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centers #government #community #spirit #measures
creating happiness sense is one of the duties of each
government
, which is
happy
Replace the word
happiness
show examples
 as well as, a good
spirit
 is important for them. making places for ordinary
people
 which can spend leisure time
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 a way that grows a happy
spirit
 in society. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 matter
then
 followed by reasons to conclude, and
also
 suggest other ways which can improve that sense in the community. as we know,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments have a lot of responsibilities
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their society. from basic needs
such
 as health care system
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 security to social justice and having a good atmosphere and improving public happiness. so they usually consider enough money or budget to provide a desirable condition in
county
Add an article
the county
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 they build leisure centre
such
 as
stadium
Add an article
a stadium
show examples
 or develop sea beach or improve their equipment
also
 they try to create free items which ordinary
people
 can use of them. as far as I
am know
Change the verb form
know
show examples
, it is a good and effective way
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 can have a good
spirit
 in the country.
on the other hand
, the
government
 could hold on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free public festivals that have relevant
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
culture
Add an article
the culture
a culture
show examples
 of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
.
for instance
, in
Iran
Add a comma
,Iran
show examples
 yalda night and chaharshanbe soori are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 that the
government
 can help
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 and create
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
 atmosphere
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. In fact, since
those occasion
Change the determiner
that occasion
those occasions
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 national
ceremony
Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies
show examples
 and are important for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
,
Such
 actions by the
government
 can affect more than any time. In conclusion,
people
 are important capital for each
government
 and their
spirit
,
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the governments until
gain
Change the verb form
gaining
show examples
 their goals. so a combination of
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
 leisure centres and giving importance to their beliefs and convictions can help until
see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
 a good
spirit
 between
people
.
Submitted by salehi19862 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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