Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At present, some communities think that

group

sports

activities

are crucial to achieving their dream jobs, while other sets of crowd believe that it does not affect your life goals.

This

essay will discuss both the ideas and I strongly believe that team play produces great advantages so that, an individual can be successful in their career.

Firstly

, a game played by several players develops the leadership qualities within the crowd. Leadership is a very important feature in our career life. A good controller or leader can make reliable and accurate decisions which can make huge profits to the employers.

Furthermore

, the best monitor will guide the other partners to the correct actions and can develop the skills of other members of the team.

For instance

, according to the survey done by a private sector organisation on "team sport and career goals", 90% of the young generation with capabilities of controlling people had participated in

group

sports

activities

in their schools and universities.

Secondly

, your occupation mainly depends on fundamental academic performance.

Thus

, if you are an educated folk, there are a plethora of platforms which open the doors of careers. ,

Moreover

education opens the horizon of your future ambitions.

In contrast

, if a child does only the

group

sports

activities

at his or her school age, the child will not be able to complete the theories which are done in the school.

This

may lead to poor grades and results so you will not be successful in your examinations.

Consequently

, companies with not accept a person with low academic qualifications.

For example

, according to the university research data, more students with high brain capacity for subjects than the outdoor

activities

can make a better professional life than that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an active child who engaged in only

sports

This

highlight my

second

point of view clearly. To sum up, though the learning process can make you grow the theoretical knowledge, to be an ideal and practical human being, you must engage in

group

work when you are small. Because to be successful being knowledgable is not important, but being practical leads to the best job.

Sun Jun 05 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

355 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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