IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rates #fall #advances #technology #crimes
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Nowadays, it is becoming a serious issue that the crime rates are rising at a high speed. Corruption analysts believe that technology can play an important role in detecting and preventing the problem. It is obvious that the latest innovations are beneficial, but I think the mental
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 of the criminal
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
 to
think
Verb problem
be considered
show examples
 as a factor.
To begin
 with, the advancement of science and its sections are making a huge help in identifying the crime moves of a culprit. Video analytics aid
to investigate
Change preposition
in investigating
show examples
 the CCTV footage of violation scenes
as well as
 extracting useful information from that.
For example
, if a camera captures a scene of a man standing with a gun, the smart system will immediately catch the anomaly which is happening there. One of the great discoveries of modern science is a smart cyber security system. The case of social media can be caught by
this
 system. As the development of modern processes is travelling to the apex, it can be assumed that the violence percentages will decrease day by day.
However
, the rising stages of intelligent models can not diminish the violence rate alone. The sins generally happen from different issues
such
 as depression and the mental sickness of a man. The reasons
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
important to find out
for
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct word choice
why
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 an innocent man came into the dark era of sins. Financial insolvency, family and environmental instability are some notable factors which can push a victim to do harmful activities.
Finally
, as
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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 is a crying need for authorities to
degrade
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the proportion of unsocial work in society, they can definitely
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contribution of the latest technologies.
On the other hand
, the investigation of the reason
behind
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why a human is becoming a risk to society is a matter of study too.
Submitted by raiyaanabdullah on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clearer position on the issue in the introduction to show the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime deterrent
  • high-tech surveillance
  • facial recognition systems
  • omnipresence
  • deter
  • digital forensics
  • ballistic testing
  • revolutionize
  • exonerate
  • root causes
  • social inequality
  • invasion of privacy
  • civil liberties
  • surveillance
  • data collection
  • negative implications
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • identity theft
  • online fraud
  • cybersecurity
  • vulnerabilities
  • exploit
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