The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Since the first
car
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appeared on British
roads
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in 1888, the
number
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of vehicles has risen to around 29 million by the year 2000. Many
people
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believe that alternative types of transport should be offered and that international regulations should be introduced to control
car
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ownership and usage. I agree to some extent, and
this
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essay will discuss the reasons. On the one hand, the dramatic increase in the
number
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of
cars
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on British
roads
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affects various aspects of life.
First,
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harmful emissions from vehicles trap heat in the atmosphere, which contributes to climate change. These gases
also
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cause air pollution, harming the environment and public health.
Furthermore
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, the rise in
car
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ownership has led to increased traffic congestion, which negatively affects
people
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psychologically and mentally.
For instance
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, a recent study found that traffic jams can affect mental health by up to 56%, and researchers suggested using public transportation
instead
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of private
cars
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.
On the other hand
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,some
people
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argue that there should be an international law to restrict
car
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ownership.
Such
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regulation could help control the increasing
number
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of private
cars
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on the
roads
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.
In addition
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, encouraging
people
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to use public transport by offering incentives could reduce the negative effects of emissions.
For example
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, some global companies provide buses for their employees to commute in order to reduce the drawbacks associated with the rising
number
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of
car
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owners.
To conclude
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, I agree with the view that setting regulations on buying and using
cars
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could help reduce the significant rise in the
number
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of vehicles on the British
roads
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.
Such
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measures may contribute to protecting the environment and improving public well-being.

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task response
Make your answer more direct. Say more clearly how far you agree or disagree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear idea about alternative transport, not only car rules. This will help answer all parts of the question.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and exact. The study about mental health is not fully explained, so it feels weak.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas more smoothly. Some parts jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check small linking words and spacing, for example 'On the other hand,some people' should have a space.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple and easy-to-follow paragraph plan.
task response
You answer the main topic and give your opinion.
task response
You include examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
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