Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

A highly controversial phenomenon in the contemporary epoch today relates to whether watching
TVs
Fix the agreement mistake
TV
show examples
consumed
Wrong verb form
consumes
show examples
leisure time or not. There is no denying the fact that we are living in a fast-paced environment and online movies and dramas are a source of relish. I firmly disagree and notwithstanding the given notion.
This
essay will
further
elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
With, There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant is that beyond doubt folk are increasingly becoming robots owing to the workload and life stress.
for instance
, A research report provided helpful insight in order to endure happiness it is essential to devote some free hours to watching sports and movies for the purpose of refreshing minds.
In addition
to
this
, there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only does one benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.
On the other hand
, Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
, when only one follows
such
a system, can they broaden their horizons,
hence
learning these attributes
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
dedication and perseverance.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
a result, it is apparent why myriad is in the patronage of watching sports. to cite an example,
According to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a global report indicated that more than half of the entire population
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
to watch comedy shows in their free time and
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as a source of entertainment.
to sum up
,
according to
the
forenamed
Correct word choice
aforementioned
show examples
quarrels, I would like to restate my perspective that the fruitful vantages of media in free time are indeed too terrific to neglect the life obstacles and challenges in the current era.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay needs to focus on the prompt and provide a clear position supported by relevant examples and arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction needs to clearly state the position and provide an overview of the main points. The conclusion should summarize the main arguments and restate the position.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: