Some people think that economy progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors,do you think are most important?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few individuals believe that financial growth is only the source to measure the development of any
country
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
other opine that there are other alternate factors which help to evaluate the success of a
country
Use synonyms
. The advancement of technology is one of the major examples of
successful
Add an article
the successful
show examples
public. In the following paragraph, we will discuss all the views of the essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there is a plethora
Change preposition
of factors
show examples
factors
Change the noun form
factor
show examples
which can be considered to measure the progress of any
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
have all the modern technology which helps to prove the achievement rate of the
country
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Russia has low currency as compared to many other
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
region
Change the wording
regions
show examples
like the USA but at the same ,time it has all the advanced weapons. So on
this
Linking Words
base of ,
Add an article
the economy
show examples
economy
Add a comma
,economy
show examples
we can not assume the growth of any
provincial
Replace the word
province
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we should consider the
education
Use synonyms
system of the provincial because nowadays
education
Use synonyms
plays a vital role in the development of the
country
Use synonyms
. If the province has a literate population, it becomes developed very fastly and a strong
education
Use synonyms
system is a key factor for becoming successful.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, modern health amenities
also
Linking Words
should be assumed while considering the success comparision of any
country
Use synonyms
because many
countries
Use synonyms
have perfect health facilities as compared to the
countries
Use synonyms
that are strong economically. In my view, the tourist attraction place is
also
Linking Words
very important for a
country
Use synonyms
. Many
countries
Use synonyms
in the globe have good tourist places due to these
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
around the world
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
to visit
these region
Change the determiner
this region
these regions
show examples
which help to make a provincial financially strong and increase the employment rate,
consequently
Linking Words
, people learn different types of culture and traditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the criminal background environment is
also
Linking Words
very important to judge the rustic's fame. In recent years ,terror attacks are increases in a few developed
countries
Use synonyms
due to
this
Linking Words
people feel unsafe visiting
these region
Change the determiner
this region
these regions
show examples
and some
countries
Use synonyms
are not enough economically strong but are safe to visit there so people prefer these
countries
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
economies
Correct the article-noun agreement
economy
show examples
. To conclude, the success of any
country
Use synonyms
can be assumed on the basis of different types of factors
such
Linking Words
advance
education
Use synonyms
system and development in the technology sector.
Submitted by gurmit.150 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: