IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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it is thought
by
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some
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that
the
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students must join university courses after their basic education;
in contrast
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,
the
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other groups believe that to support the community , people must develop their future in the construction field and automobile workshops.In my opinion, I affirm that the personal interest of an individual is the decision-maker of his future whether as a professional or a skilled worker.
To begin
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 with, let us shed light on the viewpoint of the people supporting university studies.First and foremost, tertiary qualification is the stepping stone to professional life which is an inevitable part of a community.
In addition
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, the services of
the
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teachers, nurses and doctors are a key factor in the well-being of a population , where these people are developing their skills and knowledge from the colleges and universities.
For example
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,
100%of
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the
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doctors worldwide have completed their graduation or post-graduation in Medical; science from recognised universities.
On the other hand
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, there are certain facts on the viewpoint of supporting skilled labouring as well.
Firstly
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, the basic needs of
a
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society are in the hands of these physically challenging workers.
Moreover
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,
the
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car mechanics and construction workers are establishing the basic needs of every community , where their importance in
a
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society must be appreciated
due to
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 their physically challenging hard work.
For instance
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, in China , during Covid 19, it was the building labourers who
had
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helped the Government to construct a Hospital within a few days of an emergency, which was valued and will be remembered until the end.
To conclude
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, the services of professional and skilled labour and equally important to the advancement of a population. In my opinion,
although
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 a university education is significant, the individuals who are interested
to work
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in working
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 as a mechanic or building labourers must be encouraged.

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task response
Make sure to fully address both views in the essay, and provide clear examples and explanations for each view.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas throughout the essay. The essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • vocational training
  • skillset
  • employment landscape
  • economic contributions
  • hands-on experience
  • critical thinking skills
  • practical knowledge
  • tuition fees
  • trade professions
  • essential workforce
  • academic qualifications
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