IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Medical facilities should not be provided for free regardless of income. Do you agree with this opinion.

#facilities #income
Nowadays, Inflation makes everything more expensive than in the past. Some notions say that medical facilities should not be provided for free regardless of income. In my opinion, I could not agree more with
this
 notion and I will explain my opinion in the following paragraph. On the one hand, Some
people
 feel that it is the duty of states to make citizens healthy and have the right to cure when illness. In some countries
such
 as Thailand, It was written in a constitutional act of Thailand.
Moreover
,
People
 in today's competitive work and gain a lot of
money
.
Accordingly
, They do have not enough time to take care of their bodies.
On the other hand
, Some
people
 feel that providing medical facilities is not free but makes cheaper prices because when they are free. More
people
 are not intended to participate.
For example
, The public park for
exercise
 should pay in cheap
money
. After that,
People
 will feel that
money
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 valuable and hard to collect. So, When they
use
Wrong verb form
are used
show examples
 to maintaining healthy bodies, They should
be doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise
 a lot in order to be suitable for the
money
 that they
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
. In my lifestyle, when playing
fitness free
Add a hyphen
fitness-free
show examples
 in my condominium, I do
exercise
 in fewer minutes.
However
, I can
be doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
exercise
 for an estimated one hour when paid 40
bahts
Correct your spelling
baths
show examples
 in a Fitness gym near my home. In conclusion, I think medical facilities should be provided cheaply
paid
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to reduce the expenses of citizens and motivate citizens to maintain
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitions to connect ideas and ensure a clear and logical progression of points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: