IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Medical facilities should not be provided for free regardless of income. Do you agree with this opinion.

#facilities #income
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, Inflation makes everything more expensive than in the past. Some notions say that medical facilities should not be provided for free regardless of income. In my opinion, I could not agree more with
this
Linking Words
 notion and I will explain my opinion in the following paragraph. On the one hand, Some
people
Use synonyms
 feel that it is the duty of states to make citizens healthy and have the right to cure when illness. In some countries
such
Linking Words
 as Thailand, It was written in a constitutional act of Thailand.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 in today's competitive work and gain a lot of
money
Use synonyms
.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, They do have not enough time to take care of their bodies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Some
people
Use synonyms
 feel that providing medical facilities is not free but makes cheaper prices because when they are free. More
people
Use synonyms
 are not intended to participate.
For example
Linking Words
, The public park for
exercise
Use synonyms
 should pay in cheap
money
Use synonyms
. After that,
People
Use synonyms
 will feel that
money
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 valuable and hard to collect. So, When they
use
Wrong verb form
are used
show examples
 to maintaining healthy bodies, They should
be doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 a lot in order to be suitable for the
money
Use synonyms
 that they
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
. In my lifestyle, when playing
fitness free
Add a hyphen
fitness-free
show examples
 in my condominium, I do
exercise
Use synonyms
 in fewer minutes.
However
Linking Words
, I can
be doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 for an estimated one hour when paid 40
bahts
Correct your spelling
baths
show examples
 in a Fitness gym near my home. In conclusion, I think medical facilities should be provided cheaply
paid
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to reduce the expenses of citizens and motivate citizens to maintain
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
show examples
.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitions to connect ideas and ensure a clear and logical progression of points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: