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Writing Samples
Band 7

People nowadays are spending more time at the work place and it is argued this is a problem for family life.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #work #place #life
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Over the century, it has been a controversial topic that sacrificing personal life for work leads officers to several family issues. Many consider that
this
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 phenomenon is the cause of toxic circumstances between family members. Personally, I strongly agree with the statement that devoting
time
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 to the office brings detrimental outcomes because the increased stress from the workplace affects the emotion resulting with others. Recently, new generations believe that if they work hard, they will get incredible results,
however
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, the side-effects of working hard are not thoroughly scrutinised. The situation in Japan is tangible evidence of the drawback that they need to be at the office before working-hour and go back late in order to show their determination.
Consequently
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, the rate of birth in Japan has been decreasing, meanwhile, the number of divorces among married couples has been rising due to they do not have adequate
time
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 for each other.
Additionally
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, another clear example is the current circumstance in Korea, the numerous news presents violence in families. Many women and children have been hurt by their husbands and fathers because of the pressure from the workplace affecting their mental ability.
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, it leads teenagers who are haunting to behave in inappropriate ways,
for instance
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, using drugs and committing crimes. According to the research of Chiangmai University, informing the way that people can be harmonious families is caused by frequently having recreational activities together.
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, these issues can be solved by spending more
time
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 with family to relax and create an excellent atmosphere to understand each other more. In conclusion,
although
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 working hard might be beneficial,
this
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 is the means to various negative impacts. Having more quality
time
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 with family can reduce
this
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 trouble.
Submitted by chosita1995 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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