IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

#people #school #news #waste #time
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Despite some people believing that high schools need to include global
news
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 as a
subject
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 in their curriculum, other folks don't believe that
such
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 an approach can benefit the
students
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. Both sides have pros and cons.
To begin
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 with, nowadays globalization is making the world smaller and information flows all over the planet.
Moreover
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, we all need to filter the
news
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 to differentiate the fake ones from the real ones, but most importantly to invest our time more wisely in what to read and what we can skip.
For instance
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, high schools could start to engage with
students
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 to teach them how to be involved in global changes every day and particularly to be able to sort out the everyday
news
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 quality-wise.
However
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, it is clear why other parts of the society think that
students
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 in secondary schools might waste their time understanding specifics of international
news
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, as it is still early to get them educated in
this
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 difficult
subject
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.
Furthermore
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, international
news
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 is a complex
subject
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 one needs really focus on, so it's better to do at universities with relevant study direction.
For example
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, it's better to focus on
digital-related
Add an article
the digital-related
a digital-related
show examples
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 for
students
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 which can benefit them in
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 amount and prepare
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
 their future life
advantures
Correct your spelling
adventures
. To sum up, both opinions have full right to coexist in the world, but as the whole educational system is being developed over years it is more likely that we can see international
news
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 as a separate
subject
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 for
students
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 in the secondary academies.
Submitted by alisher.jafarov on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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