The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to some individuals, because of advanced technologies, the offences rate has decreased dramatically. I completely agree that the neighbourhood became a safer place nowadays.

Firstly

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, the invention of the digital lock at

house's

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house

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doors increased security

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the cities for the reason that only owners of a house can open their main door. To explain,

first

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fingerprint

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a fingerprint

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should be saved in the device which is attached to a door.

Then

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only when

display

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displaying

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that specific fingerprint

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the device's screen, the door will unlock and open.

This

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, in turn, made it difficult to break into the houses and commit crimes

such

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robbary

Correct your spelling

robbery

Moreover

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, all roads of a city are under observation of higher authorities for 24 hours/7 days because of cameras installed

though

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through

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out the streets.

For example

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, China's government had installed CCTV all over the country since 1980 to catch criminals easily.

Hence

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, recognition of

offencers

Correct your spelling

officers

offences

offenders

faces and

identify

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identifying

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steps of a crime more efficiently.

Finally

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detection

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the detection

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of criminals in

short

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a short

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period of time because of technology. In fact,

this

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can be done with the help of

citizen's

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citizens'

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data that

saved

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is saved

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

police's

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police

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computers. All information

is usually connected

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has usually connected

show examples

togather

Correct your spelling

together

start

Wrong verb form

starting

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from

fingerprint

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the fingerprint

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with all personal data up to the address.

Consequently

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, the

solve

Replace the word

solution

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of a mysterious crime like murder and catch its

culpert

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culprit

culvert

fast. To conclude, in

this

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contemporary world, technology helped to decrease the crime rate effectively. I totally believe that the fear is less these days out in the streets thanks to technology and advanced machines that improved our life.

Submitted by Simsima161 on Tue Jun 07 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

256 words

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