IELTS 8 - Exam 2 - Writing Task 2 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#ielts #exam #people #technology #relationships #become #development

Recently communication types have been changing

due to

modern technology, which

also

brings lots of differences in friendships. I believe it has huge benefits for

people

. There are new generations of relationships around the world because of technology which influences all aspects of communication.

Due to

the new system that allows us to connect with

people

who are a long distance from us, we will be able to make friends overseas which will boost our knowledge and awareness about various

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Additionally

in the new world

Change preposition

show examples

these types of equipment and new apps, family gatherings have decreased a lot. They prefer to connect with each other via a video call

instead

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, from my point of view, these facilities

overally

Correct your spelling

overall

have a positive effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

’s

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firstly

it allows

people

to work from a long distance,

for example

, an engineer would be able to work for a company in another country easily without limitations.

Secondly

, immigration will change to an easier task for individuals who must immigrate far from their families,

for example

, soldiers who have to live in another city for a

while

Finally

, abroad education will be increased

due to

the equipment that technology generates for every person. There will be no restriction to finding their favorite major for students anymore

therefore

they can choose without considering borders. In conclusion, the new modern world provides lots of appliances for

people

to change their communication type, and it will be a better situation for connection.

Submitted by ostorr7213 on Thu Aug 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, providing an appropriate response to the question about how technology has affected relationships and its impact. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration and clearer expressions.

coherence cohesion

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your argument well. However, some ideas in the body paragraphs could be better organized to improve the overall flow of the essay, making it easier for readers to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your main points. Including relevant data, anecdotes, or studies can make your arguments more compelling and concrete.

coherence cohesion

While the essay generally flows logically, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

Your introduction succinctly sets up the topic and your perspective, making clear what your essay will discuss.

coherence cohesion

You include a conclusion that neatly wraps up your essay, reaffirming your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global connectivity
social media
communication apps
virtual relationships
instant communication
instant gratification
telecommuting
remote work
social dynamics
privacy issues
trust
intimacy

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IELTS 8 - Exam 2 - Writing Task 2 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this p

Cars have become convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.