IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you think it is the reason for the growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

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Violence
Use synonyms
 in the
media
Use synonyms
 is often considered the main reason for the increased
crime
Use synonyms
 rate in the youth. I completely agree with
this
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. In my opinion,
this
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 situation can be reversed by regulating the content shown on the internet and television. I will discuss and analyse
this
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 in detail in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
violence
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 is ubiquitous
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
media
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 these days which is a significant reason
of
Change preposition
for
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rise
Change the verb form
rising
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 in the juvenile
crime
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, children play fighting
computers
Change the noun form
computer
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 games and watch movies based on money laundering, robbery and other
crime
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 scenes. They see abuse and murders
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 on the
media
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 which
render
Correct subject-verb agreement
renders
show examples
 them tolerant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these things. Ultimately, the young generation incorporates these immoral activities
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their lives.
For example
Linking Words
, some children enjoy bullying their peers in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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, and select
violence
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 as a career option as they believe that criminals can be the highest achievers and afford a lavish
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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.
Therefore
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, they consider defendants as
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
 and follow them in real life.
However
Linking Words
, it is the prime responsibility of the government of a nation to censor the broadcasted content to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
juvenile
crime
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the state can make it mandatory for the cyber
crime
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 department to regulate the programmes on TV and online
media
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.
This
Linking Words
 will only produce content which is totally suitable for the youngsters.
Hence
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, it will prevent them
Correct your spelling
committing
commiting
Change preposition
from commiting
show examples
 criminal activities in their future life since it will reduce their exposure to
violence
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. In conclusion,
display
Correct article usage
the display
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 of
violence
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 in the
media
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 is negatively affecting youth nowadays. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
 can be mitigated by reducing violent programmes.

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