IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

#money #time
Some
people
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a someone who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
lot
 of
money
 must
be enjoy
Change the verb form
be enjoying
show examples
life
 and high
quality
 of
life
indentical
Correct your spelling
identical
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
people
 who
rich
Add a missing verb
are rich
show examples
 and
less
Add a missing verb
have less
show examples
time
 will
prioritizing
Wrong verb form
prioritise
show examples
 their
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
.
However
, On the one of
life
 we must try something various out weight
people
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
unrich
Add a missing verb
are unrich
show examples
 have less
money
 but more free
time
 maybe less than suffer more who does the work hard die fast.
This
 essay will be
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
discussed
 about many reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more
money
 less free
time
 and more free
times
 less
money
. I strongly agree with
this
 purpose, everything in
this
 world. would spend
money
 on high
quality
, business education.
In addition
 when you have a
lot
 of
money
 that makes you
Add an article
the convenience
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
.
However
, for reason making
money
 would have a massive to busy, giant of work hard
this
 effect really popular to the middle age. The effect is not short term solved in mini
times
. That work hard to
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 a
lot
 of
money
 is bad for workers they no have
times
 to spend with the family, hobby, The age is rapidly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
receive that affects make them lost the
first
 and foremost,
that is
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
. do not have more
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
 is a big deal drawback for long
life
.
On the other hand
, a tiny of
money
 is not the worst thing when you have more enjoyable your
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
. A deal of finance is significant is true. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other ,words the orbit can not give you
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
 to spend
time
. The
time
 can not v-tern back like a road. On top of that free
time
 will give you a
quality
 of
life
 identically if you have confidence and endeavour to the health of
life
. To sum up, I personally agree with less than of finance but have. more for free
time
 to make a
lot
 of
money
people
 usually have not much
time
 for attending about meal or health
that is
 wrong to
quality
 of
life
. In my opinion to the organisation
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 individuals less
money
 and massive free
times
 is best than more
money
 in my reasons. because the
time
 is rapidly
Submitted by pnnp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: