IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

#money #time
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Some
people
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 believe that
,
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apply
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 a someone who
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a
lot
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 of
money
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 must
be enjoy
Change the verb form
be enjoying
show examples
life
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 and high
quality
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 of
life
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indentical
Correct your spelling
identical
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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people
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 who
rich
Add a missing verb
are rich
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 and
less
Add a missing verb
have less
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time
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 will
prioritizing
Wrong verb form
prioritise
show examples
 their
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, On the one of
life
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 we must try something various out weight
people
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who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
unrich
Add a missing verb
are unrich
show examples
 have less
money
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 but more free
time
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 maybe less than suffer more who does the work hard die fast.
This
Linking Words
 essay will be
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
discussed
 about many reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more
money
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 less free
time
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 and more free
times
Use synonyms
 less
money
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 purpose, everything in
this
Linking Words
 world. would spend
money
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 on high
quality
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, business education.
In addition
Linking Words
 when you have a
lot
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 of
money
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 that makes you
Add an article
the convenience
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convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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of
Change preposition
in
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life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, for reason making
money
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 would have a massive to busy, giant of work hard
this
Linking Words
 effect really popular to the middle age. The effect is not short term solved in mini
times
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. That work hard to
making
Change the form of the verb
make
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
money
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 is bad for workers they no have
times
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 to spend with the family, hobby, The age is rapidly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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receive that affects make them lost the
first
Linking Words
 and foremost,
that is
Linking Words
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
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. do not have more
Linking Words
second
Fix the agreement mistake
seconds
show examples
 is a big deal drawback for long
life
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a tiny of
money
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 is not the worst thing when you have more enjoyable your
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
. A deal of finance is significant is true. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other ,words the orbit can not give you
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
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 to spend
time
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. The
time
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 can not v-tern back like a road. On top of that free
time
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 will give you a
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
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 identically if you have confidence and endeavour to the health of
life
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. To sum up, I personally agree with less than of finance but have. more for free
time
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 to make a
lot
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 of
money
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people
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 usually have not much
time
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 for attending about meal or health
that is
Linking Words
 wrong to
quality
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 of
life
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. In my opinion to the organisation
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 individuals less
money
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 and massive free
times
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 is best than more
money
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 in my reasons. because the
time
Use synonyms
 is rapidly
Submitted by pnnp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
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