People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it seems hard for some
people
to stay loyal to their jobs.
In other words
, they change their
career
to find a better situation in their lives.
Althohugh
Correct your spelling
Although
some experts might believe that changing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
career
may result in having more
job
satisfaction
, I strongly believe that changing
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
path
repeatedly will have reverse effects. In the following paragraphs, we will analyze how keeping our
career
path
in a constant way leads us to peace and
satisfaction
.
Firstly
,
people
who do a
job
for a long
time
, obtain more
experience
in their profession.
Consequently
, the more
experience
they have, the better situation they reach in their workplace.
For instance
, many
people
who run their own business or many employees who are working in companies for a long
time
, are counted as experts in their professions. The point is that they have been working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a certain
career
path
for a long
time
. In fact, if they changed their
career
multiple times, they would not become experts in their jobs so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they could not get high salaries, which is undoubtedly one of the key elements of
job
satisfaction
. In conclusion, being loyal to a
profession
Replace the word
professional
show examples
would result in
job
satisfaction
.
Secondly
, starting a new
career
always demands fresh knowledge.
Thus
,
people
who tend to change their
career
path
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
might need to gain base knowledge related to their new
job
. In fact, they have to pay money and spend
time
to reach an acceptable level
to begin
a new
career
.
Therefore
, changing
job
frequently
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has a huge financial expense.
Also
, it might have some moral expenses.
For example
, starting a new
job
will result in changing
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
and being apart from old coworkers
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may not be satisfying for many. To summarize,
although
some
people
assume that changing
career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
repeatedly may lead them to find their dream
job
, I think that staying loyal to a
career
and
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
more
experience
helps us to become professional in our
job
which makes us have more income and
consequently
feel more
job
satisfaction
. An effective way to help future generations in their
career
path
is to help youth in university and school to find their favourite
career
as soon as possible.
Therefore
, they can plan for it and gain enough
experience
.
Otherwise
, they will be confused and aimless by the
time
they are expected to start their
job
and earn money.
Submitted by mehrad.aghaei on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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