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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#students #focus #classroom #show #status #clothes #school #uniforms
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An immensely controversial phenomenon in the contemporary epoch today relates to whether tutees should pay utmost attention to their education or present their elite status. There is no denying the fact that learning education is supremacy in comparison to fashion. I firmly agree and withstand the stated notion.
This
 essay will
further
 elucidate my assertions in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant is that beyond doubt similar uniforms in the school promote a sense of harmony.
for instance
, it is general practice in developing countries for all students to wear a
singular
Replace the word
single
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 dress.
In addition
 to
this
, there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only does one benefit more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all these merits stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.
On the other hand
, another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it is only likely to help one thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
, when only one follows
such
 a system, can they broaden their horizons,
hence
 learning these attributes as dedication and perseverance.
As a result
, it is apparent why myriad is in the patronage of
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 uniforms for all classes of students to cite an example, in Korea, it is strictly prohibited to wear a home dress in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school and colleges.
to sum up
,
according to
 the
forenamed
Correct word choice
aforementioned
show examples
 quarrels, I would like to restate my perspective that the fruitful
vantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
show examples
 of identical uniforms for pupils are indeed too terrific to neglect the discrimination in the current era. There is no need to create tension in the school.
Submitted by Shabanraza489 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given topic and presents a clear and well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner. Also, provide a more effective introduction and conclusion.
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