Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#species #animals #world #verge #extinction #say #countries #individuals #beings #viewpoints

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Over the

last

century, many habitats are destroyed due to urbanization. Some environmental activists claim that policymakers should consider the extinction of

species

animals

as a topmost priority;

However

, In my perspective, governments should focus on the other major challenges of human beings

such

as human

health

and environmental pollution. On the one hand, one cannot deny that the extinction of

animals

is gradually

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

due to deforestation and urbanization which may

lends

Change the verb form

lend

show examples

destroy

Wrong verb form

destroying

show examples

entire

Correct article usage

the entire

show examples

ecosytem

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

ecosystems

. To explain

further

, every living

beings

Change to a singular noun

being

show examples

this

world is an inter-dependent,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

depreciation of any

species

imbalance

Correct your spelling

imbalanced

show examples

the ecosystem which leads to greater consequences.

For example

carvniorous

Correct your spelling

carnivorous

animals

depends

Change the verb form

depend

show examples

on other

animals

for their food the deprecation of some

animals

leads to feeding

issues

for them.

Besides

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

ecosytem

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

undoutedly

Correct your spelling

undoubtedly

, every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

is responsible to save

species

from risk.

On the other hand

Although

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

saving some

animals

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extinction is required but might not be a priority when considering concerning

issues

health

and environmental

issues

. Across the

globe

Add a comma

,globe

show examples

many citizens do not have an access to

multifacility

Correct your spelling

multi facility

multi-facility

hospitals.

For instance

Many

Fix capitalization

many

show examples

South African

countries

Change noun form

country's

countries'

show examples

citizens

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to cross their

nation

Replace the word

national

show examples

borders to get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper treatment, due to poverty, which cannot be possible for everyone.

In addition

health

, authorities and organizations must spend their funds to reduce pollution by investing

Change preposition

show examples

environmental conservation which indirectly contributes to

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

show examples

and

preserve

Wrong verb form

preserving

show examples

natural habitats.

Finally

, to recapitulate, the destruction of rare

species

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the major

issues

to be addressed to keep

ecosystem

Add an article

the ecosystem

show examples

balanced and save them for

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

generations.

Nevertheless

, when compared to other major

issues

, I strongly believe other major

issues

such

health

Change preposition

as health

show examples

and pollution take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

topmost priority.

Submitted by rana on Tue Jun 07 2022

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

verge of extinction
endangered species
ecological importance
biodiversity
ethical duty
ecosystems
medical and scientific research
ecotourism
limited availability of resources
socioeconomic issues
sustainable development
conservation efforts
preserve biodiversity

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