IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Keeping animals in captivity is cruel. There is no reason for zoos to exist in the 21st century.

#animals #captivity #reason #zoos #st #century
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These days people place a premium on
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
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 life and
independency
Correct your spelling
independence
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. People argue that there is no need for
zoos
Use synonyms
 in the 21st century. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I want to discuss, both advantages and disadvantages of
elimination
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
 of
zoos
Use synonyms
. To advance a convincing theory I could deal with,
zoos
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 impact on studying. These places are good sources for studying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different species. They can be used by both students and researchers.
In addition
Linking Words
 to what I have just said, they are good places for endangered
animals
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. Zookeepers can protect their eggs or babies
Correct your spelling
from
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form
Correct your spelling
from
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 predators. On top of that, they don’t need to be worried
for
Change preposition
about
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food
Correct article usage
the food
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 they will be
feed
Wrong verb form
fed
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, Iranian tigers are in danger. So, zookeepers are in charge to protect their babies. There are only 2 tigers alive and only one baby.
Although
Linking Words
zoos
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 have had benefits, they
also
Linking Words
 have had negative effects. When we change
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
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habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
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, they can’t live
Correct your spelling
alone
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a lone
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alone
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 in nature. On the grounds that they don’t know how to find food or even
scape
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escape
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 from wild
animals
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. Another feature which I could mention is, for some species
zoos
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 are not a comfortable place to live in.
for example
Linking Words
 lions need a place to run in and drain their energy. On top of
that
Add a comma
,that
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 it is very
crule
Correct your spelling
cruel
 to keep
animals
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 in cages in case to entertain individuals. yet these days, safaris have been established. They are the wildlife that
are
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is
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 protected by
zookeeprs
Correct your spelling
zookeepers
. To conclude, all in all,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
zoos
Use synonyms
 should be decreased by the 21st century. They must be used for important stuff not to entertain other people.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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