Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Economic goals have become one of the priority goals of many countries.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
some people think that some other progress should be considered the same as economic development. I agree that economic expansion must be the main focus.
Firstly
, some authorities focus most of the country’s
budget
on commerce and infrastructure.
For example
, in some countries, governments mainly focus on building roads and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the amount of money invested
on
Change preposition
in
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farming.
Therefore
, citizens noticed the improvement and enhancement of the traffic and the transportation.
Moreover
, the quality of education increased
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
the rise of money invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
infrastructure,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
new schools have
been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
built.
Therefore
, children have more chances to learn in modern, quality schools and especially at less cost.
Subsequently
,
citizen's
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens'
show examples
lives will be improved to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better quality. To improve other segments, governments must stabilize their country’s economy. Without
this
, other segments will not have enough power to improve.
For instance
, some countries spend more than half of their financial
budget
on the military, and other sectors only have a small amount of
budget
invested
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
economics
Replace the word
economy
show examples
of the country decreases leading to regress across all sectors and lower exports due to the authorities' miss planning. In conclusion, economics is a priority sector that leads to the development of a country. Without it, other sectors will not have enough
budget
to improve and advance. The table illustrates how many people visited Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year it was refurbished, while the pie charts give data about how visitors feel about their visit during the same two years.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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