Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #art #music #people’s #lives #government #money

Drawing,

traditional

Correct word choice

and traditional

show examples

music

is very important in every country. Without

art

, life would be very boring and dull. Though, some people believe that the

government

should not lay money on these activities.

However

, I partially agree with the statement, there are ample

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reasons why

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should spend money on these areas, which would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, If the

governement

Correct your spelling

government

does not spend money on

art

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

who would come and see the

art

inside. The

government

could not earn if they does not spend on it.

Tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

Tourists

show examples

will not come and the

art

museum,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has become the main source of income for the

government

For example

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

Taj Mahal in India, If the

government

does not

redeveloped

Change the verb form

redevelop

show examples

it, it could not have become the part of

seven

Correct article usage

the seven

show examples

wonders of the world.

Secondly

art

music

Correct word choice

and music

show examples

is the greatest entertainment nowadays. Life without

music

cannot be even

decribed

Correct your spelling

described

in the words.

Music

has become

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the entrainment source that people like to attend concerts and like to listen to loud

music

to forget their worries. If

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

does not invest in

music

, it would be a great

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

for them. To sum up, it is extremely

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

to take care of culture,

art

and

music

in one's nation. Without it, life is dark and dull with no psychological development and no escape

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental depression.

Therefore

, the importance of

this

cannot be ignored.

Submitted by roohibhatti430 on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take a risk both in their professional lives and in their personal lives. Do the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?

More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?