Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Drawing,
traditional
Correct word choice
and traditional
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music
Use synonyms
is very important in every country. Without
art
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, life would be very boring and dull. Though, some people believe that the
government
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should not lay money on these activities.
However
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, I partially agree with the statement, there are ample
of
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apply
show examples
reasons why
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government
Add an article
the government
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should spend money on these areas, which would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, If the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
does not spend money on
art
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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who would come and see the
art
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inside. The
government
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could not earn if they does not spend on it.
Tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
Tourists
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will not come and the
art
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museum,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has become the main source of income for the
government
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.
For example
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-
The
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In the
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Taj Mahal in India, If the
government
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does not
redeveloped
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redevelop
show examples
it, it could not have become the part of
seven
Correct article usage
the seven
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wonders of the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
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,
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music
Correct word choice
and music
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is the greatest entertainment nowadays. Life without
music
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cannot be even
decribed
Correct your spelling
described
in the words.
Music
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has become
of
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apply
show examples
the entrainment source that people like to attend concerts and like to listen to loud
music
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to forget their worries. If
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
does not invest in
music
Use synonyms
, it would be a great
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
for them. To sum up, it is extremely
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
to take care of culture,
art
Use synonyms
and
music
Use synonyms
in one's nation. Without it, life is dark and dull with no psychological development and no escape
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental depression.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the importance of
this
Linking Words
cannot be ignored.
Submitted by roohibhatti430 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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