Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers

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Many would argue that wealthy

people

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are considered

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apply

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more successful ones than those who have positive impacts on

society

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while others believe that social influence has greater value than

money

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in terms of success.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyze both points of view and say why I believe that success is more related to the contribution to

society

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than

money

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. The main reason many believe that wealth

is equate

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is equated

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with success is wealth allows

people

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to satisfy their basic needs.

For

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example

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, even

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people

Correct word choice

if people

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are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

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respectful and have a massive impact on

society

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, they would feel depressed themselves if they are not able to afford to consume essential things like food, clothes or housing. Another reason is that prosperous individuals can focus on their priorities by outsourcing less important tasks. An

example

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this

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is rich

people

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spend their time with family and take enough time with beloved ones by paying for services

doing

Correct word choice

and doing

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miscellaneous works on

behalf

Correct pronoun usage

their behalf

show examples

of them.

However

Linking Words

, some say

money

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affects only a single individual’s life, but one’s contribution to

society

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can influence all over the world.

Scientist

Fix the agreement mistake

Scientists

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for

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example

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, have saved millions of lives by developing vaccines to prevent diseases.

In addition

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, efforts to contribute to

society

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can affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

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over the generation.

Nevertheless

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money

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only affects a person's life, but social influence extends to

people

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all over the world.

For

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example

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, scientists have saved millions of lives by developing vaccines to prevent diseases.

Moreover

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, efforts to contribute to

society

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can

also

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affect generations.

Taking

Wrong verb form

Take

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Vincent Van Gogh, one of the most famous artists in the world,

for

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example

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, he was poor at the time, but he is still being remembered and influencing the current generation

Submitted by shoep11 on Wed Jun 08 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial prosperity
capitalizing
luxury travel
exclusive experiences
contributions to society
humanitarian workers
lasting impact
highly subjective
cultural, societal, and personal values
comfort and security
deeper personal satisfaction
holistic understanding

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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you sug?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?