Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Recently, the debate on whether
raising
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to raise

Raising doesn’t seem to work here.

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kids in the urban
areas
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or the
countryside
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has been heated. While some people consider that higher education can be provided in the
cities
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, others argue that
children
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can experience a better childhood in the
countryside
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As far as I am concerned,
children
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's development can be benefited by living in the
countryside
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.
To begin
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with, more resources can be provided to
children
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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urban
areas
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. As it seems the
cities
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are usually more developed than the
countryside
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, talents will be attracted by those good infrastructures which bring opportunities for
children
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to learn different skills.
For example
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, arts and piano classes can be offered in the urban
areas
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which may not be
availabled
Correct your spelling
available

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in rural
areas
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Therefore
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, more skills can be learned once
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are growing up in the
cities
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,
this
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can
also
Linking Words

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bring a brighter
furture
Correct your spelling
future

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due to the various talents they owned.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, kids who live in the
countryside
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can have more freedom. As schools in the
countryside
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require less than that in the
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
children
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will not be forced to join some courses, they can spend more time playing or enjoying the
nature
Replace the word
natural

The word nature doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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landscape.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
instead
Linking Words

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of
occupied
Add a missing verb
being occupied

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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with homework and classes
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the weekends, kids can go hiking with their families and build up a stronger connection between their family
mambers
Correct your spelling
members

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.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, mental health and physical health can be ensured as the stress
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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being reduced once
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

stay away from the
high pressure
Add a hyphen
high-pressure

It appears that high pressure is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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vibe. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can learn more skills and
having
Wrong verb form
have

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb having. Consider changing it.

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a more
sucured
Correct your spelling
secured
secure

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future owing to the numerous
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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resources provided in the
cities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it will be more
beneficials
Correct your spelling
beneficial

If you don’t want beneficials to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

if the youths spend more time with their families and learn to enjoy their life.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the health of
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be
gerentee
Correct your spelling
granted

If you don’t want gerentee to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as they carry less burden.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban areas
  • cultural exposure
  • educational resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • career opportunities
  • social skills
  • healthcare facilities
  • connection to nature
  • stress and anxiety
  • community ties
  • outdoor activities
  • physical health
  • lower crime rate
  • environmental awareness
  • social interaction
  • well-being
  • development
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