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Writing Samples
Band 5

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children

#children #time #television
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Television
Use synonyms
 has become modern media in
this
Linking Words
 present era. As
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the past,
children
Use synonyms
 are more used to
TV
Use synonyms
 than outdoor activities. Before they would play with friends in
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 or playground, and be attached to the environment. But nowadays, life without
television
Use synonyms
 is not predictable. Within a ,switch we can observe the world around us.
Instead
Linking Words
 of playing outside,
children
Use synonyms
 are more comfortable with
TV
Use synonyms
. From their childhood itself, they are convenient with it. Looking at the bright side, it is a fact that,
TV
Use synonyms
 is an entertainment box with one’s complete ease.
Children
Use synonyms
 in their leisure time give priority to
TV
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it has many programs like “Dance India Dance”, India Got Talent” etc. through which
children
Use synonyms
 could get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to show their talent worldwide. A cartoon is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
favourite show for all kids, and it has
distinct
Add an article
a distinct
show examples
character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
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 to whom they are addicted too much. Apart from all, sports channels are
also
Linking Words
 one of the most liked by them. IPL which is held every year
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 puts their interest towards crickets and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 inspired by the cricketers like Dhoni, Kholi etc. who play really very well. No doubt,
children
Use synonyms
 spent more time watching
television
Use synonyms
, as compared to they did in the past. Sitting in front of
Use synonyms
TV
Add an article
the TV
show examples
 for hours has spoilt their health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 like they have become
Victim
Fix the agreement mistake
Victims
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 of obesity, weak vision and inactive. Outside creativity
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 ignored and
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of
TV
Use synonyms
 has increased.
This
Linking Words
 ultimately affects their educational qualities. To conclude,
television
Use synonyms
 should be utilized for
limited
Add an article
a limited
the limited
show examples
 period
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that one can spare time for other activities, which are
also
Linking Words
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 significant part of their life.
Children
Use synonyms
 must give
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 privilege to their educational field.
Television
Use synonyms
 is
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 science, but if it is used in excess it may become
curse
Add an article
a curse
show examples
Submitted by theracevarsity on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • diverse cultures
  • entertainment options
  • language skills
  • critical thinking
  • social awareness
  • shared experience
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • inappropriate content
  • academic performance
  • attention problems
  • social skills
  • commercial influence
  • addiction
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