Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

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The debate surrounding the

relation

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relationship

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between money and happiness polarizes crowds.

Nonetheless

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, the rate of

depressions

Fix the agreement mistake

depression

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among VIPs has been drastically increasing. In light of the above, I strongly believe that in the pursuit of a longer, happier and

healtier

Correct your spelling

healthier

life, money concerns just a tiny fraction of the puzzle.

This

Linking Words

is why

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apply

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many celebrities suffer from

this

Linking Words

condition which does not represent a

worth

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worthy

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compromise.

To begin

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with, a luxurious lifestyle,

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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sponsorships

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apply

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and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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VIP treatments are the dreams of each human being.

However

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, most of the time behind these benefits are hidden several drawbacks.

A great deal of

Change the quantifier

A lot of

Many

Plenty of

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people will be your friends just for convenience and the loneliness will spread. Emblematic is the example of Robin Williams, a widely popular actor in Hollywood.

Although

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he had earned millions of dollars, he

suicided

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suicide

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due to depression and solitude.

Therefore

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, I am thoroughly convinced that money and happiness cannot be correlated.

In addition

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, there are many examples of people who regret their simple lives. Being loved by your relatives and your friends concerns something that cannot be purchased.

For example

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, celebrities have highlighted in many interviews that the price of success is a doubled

edge-sword

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edge sword

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. On the one hand, it allows you to have astronomically high incomes.

On the other hand

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, it alienates

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

you

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from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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reality which could be potentially hazardous for your mental health. For these reasons, I condemn the hidden side of success and I consider it blatantly unfair and not worthed. To conclude, I

am totally agree

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totally agree

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with the statement which

suggest

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suggests

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that many celebrities have unhappy lives due to their popularity. In fact, they attract many fake friends and most of them can suffer from depression and alienation which are not the right prices to pay.

Hence

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, living a simple life and being heartened by the people close to you cannot be compared to any other lifestyle.

bianchimarco.998Thu Jun 09 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

Pie Chart The amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is letter to travel by cars in the city. Other, however think traveling by bicycles is better. Discuss both views.

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What measures can be done to address those problems?