Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

#film #stars #celebrities #matters #profession #development

The debate surrounding the

relation

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relationship

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between money and happiness polarizes crowds.

Nonetheless

, the rate of

depressions

Fix the agreement mistake

depression

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among VIPs has been drastically increasing. In light of the above, I strongly believe that in the pursuit of a longer, happier and

healtier

Correct your spelling

healthier

life, money concerns just a tiny fraction of the puzzle.

This

is why

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apply

show examples

many celebrities suffer from

this

condition which does not represent a

worth

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worthy

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compromise.

To begin

with, a luxurious lifestyle,

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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sponsorships

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apply

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and

get

Wrong verb form

getting

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VIP treatments are the dreams of each human being.

However

, most of the time behind these benefits are hidden several drawbacks.

A great deal of

Change the quantifier

A lot of

Many

Plenty of

show examples

people will be your friends just for convenience and the loneliness will spread. Emblematic is the example of Robin Williams, a widely popular actor in Hollywood.

Although

he had earned millions of dollars, he

suicided

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suicide

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due to depression and solitude.

Therefore

, I am thoroughly convinced that money and happiness cannot be correlated.

In addition

, there are many examples of people who regret their simple lives. Being loved by your relatives and your friends concerns something that cannot be purchased.

For example

, celebrities have highlighted in many interviews that the price of success is a doubled

edge-sword

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edge sword

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. On the one hand, it allows you to have astronomically high incomes.

On the other hand

, it alienates

yourself

Correct pronoun usage

you

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from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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reality which could be potentially hazardous for your mental health. For these reasons, I condemn the hidden side of success and I consider it blatantly unfair and not worthed. To conclude, I

am totally agree

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totally agree

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with the statement which

suggest

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suggests

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that many celebrities have unhappy lives due to their popularity. In fact, they attract many fake friends and most of them can suffer from depression and alienation which are not the right prices to pay.

Hence

, living a simple life and being heartened by the people close to you cannot be compared to any other lifestyle.

Submitted by bianchimarco.998 on Thu Jun 09 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures.Other argue that these sports can cause problems and increase conflicts between nations. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Many believe that learning a language at an early age is better while others think such language should be taught later. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are these impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened?