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Band 4.5

Giving Detail Information of Crime in newspaper and on television has bad consequences, some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. What extent you agree or disagree?

#detail #information #crime #newspaper #television #consequences #suggest #government #restriction
There is a rising trend among media to share details on the crimes that occur in our cities.
However
, some
people
 would limit the narrative just to the essential parts. In light of the above, I strongly condemn the idea which suggests that the information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 crimes should be censored.
To begin
 with, Italy is a democratic Republic,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 form of government which deny any form of censorship.
This
 is why imposing restrictions not only is against the constitution but
also
 is blatantly unfair
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 citizens.
For example
, Turkey is widely known to regulate their mass media.
Nonetheless
, the
crime
rate
 in the country has been drastically increasing in recent years, while in Australia where journalists are free to share their news, the
crime
rate
 is one of the lowest in the whole globe.
In contrast
, some
people
 argue that with
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 information
people
 have tried to emulate these offenders.
Nonetheless
, being completely informed about the fact that happen around us could act as a deterrent for criminals and allow inhabitants to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 dangers in their areas.
In particular
, knowing which areas are the most dangerous could help dwellers to be more careful while they are going through those
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
.
Secondly
, if
people
 can completely comprehend how criminals act, they will find strategies to tackle them and the
crime
rate
 will drop. To conclude, I unequivocally disagree with any form of censorship because there are no compelling reasons which connect news to the
crime
rate
, rather they inform
people
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the modality of offenders.
In addition
, it is patently clear how
this
 idea is anti-constitutional.
Hence
,
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 should continue to share news and details of minor and major crimes in order to make
people
 aware
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the reality around them.
Submitted by bianchimarco.998 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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