IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, mainly tourist, but not local people visit museums and local sites, why does this happen, and what can be done to attract more people to visit these places?

#countries #tourist #people #visit #museums #sites #happen #places
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In many
countries
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,most of the visitors to the historical and local
places
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 are
foreign
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from foreign
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countries
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 and not local
people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss how
curiorsity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
 is the driving
forces
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force
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 for the tourist to
visit
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 these sites, and how adding new recreation
places
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 will motivate the local
people
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 to
visit
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 these
places
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.
People
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visit
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 other
countries
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 to learn their history and cultures
that
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 not in their book. They get curious about the way
people
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 lived in other
countries
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 and the best way for them to learn about it is through historical
places
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 and
museum
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museums
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.
However
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, local
people
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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already
know
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known
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 about them having lived
them
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with them
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 and learnt it from their school.
Therefore
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 they find no interest in visiting these
places
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.
Moreover
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, the entry fees are usually
prices
Wrong verb form
priced
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 at
global
Add an article
a global
the global
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 rate which can be expensive for the local
people
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 to afford.
A
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Research
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research
Fix the infinitive
To research
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 from
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
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, about 60
percent
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per cent
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 of the visitor to their beach are foreign, and the studies found that the reason that there are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 local
people
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 is that the prices are too high for the local
people
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 to
visit
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 One way to attract more local
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 is to build more recreational spaces in the historical
places
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 to keep them interested. Local
people
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 will become more curious about the new
places
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 and will
visit
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 them.
Moreover
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, giving entry
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
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 to the local
people
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 will encourage them to
visit
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 these
places
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.
For example
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,
Dubai
Correct article usage
the Dubai
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 government built the largest expo in the world which include all sort of entertainment and history and it is free of cost for the local
people
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, it became very successful
quicky
Correct your spelling
quickly
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 as local
people
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 from all over the country still
visit
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to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 day. In conclusion, there should be more recreational spaces and entry fees discount for the local
people
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 to motivate them to
visit
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 the historical
places
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.
Submitted by khan.sarah630 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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