some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, companies and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some adopt the view that workers had better not alter their occupations
whereas
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others believe those ought to
due to
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the benefits it brings to themselves, companies and the community. I will discuss both views of the essay before my point is drawn
at the end
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. On the one hand, it is generally believed that individuals shouldn't shift their careers because of some possible reasons.
Initially
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, it is true that stable jobs generate stable incomes. Having said that staying in one place could secure their revenues which are genuinely pivotal for their life.
For example
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, they can cover the electricity or water bills. Without
such
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unchanged work, citizens find it challenging to ensure their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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with lots of expenses.
Additionally
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, staff would be able to accumulate experience from these employments, thereby enhancing their profession at work, which would help them to be promoted.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, there is a widely held view among people that altering business would open more opportunities.
Firstly
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, their wages are able to be far superior.
Thus
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, their living standard is more likely to be improved, which would enable the employers not only to afford their basic demands but
also
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to save for the long-term future,
for instance
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, pension, sickness or travel.
Furthermore
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, the workers, especially the millennials, may challenge themselves in various positions. By doing
this
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, they are thought to gain more insights and authentic skills, pushing them out of their safe zone.
Therefore
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, achievements will be a result of those risks if they are the go-getter. In conclusion, people think that staff should be loyal to their company. Meanwhile, others deem that they should shift their work for some upsides. I strongly believe that individuals, to be more specific,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters, ought to lift their careers after
paying
Verb problem
making
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a contribution to the workplace in one or two years so that they can jump beyond their expectations in another position.
Submitted by bonbon16319 on

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task response
Develop a more focused and balanced argument by addressing each view in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main point and use transitions to connect ideas more effectively.
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