some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, companies and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some adopt the view that workers had better not alter their occupations
whereas
others believe those ought to
due to
the benefits it brings to themselves, companies and the community. I will discuss both views of the essay before my point is drawn
at the end
. On the one hand, it is generally believed that individuals shouldn't shift their careers because of some possible reasons.
Initially
, it is true that stable jobs generate stable incomes. Having said that staying in one place could secure their revenues which are genuinely pivotal for their life.
For example
, they can cover the electricity or water bills. Without
such
unchanged work, citizens find it challenging to ensure their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
with lots of expenses.
Additionally
, staff would be able to accumulate experience from these employments, thereby enhancing their profession at work, which would help them to be promoted.
On the other hand
,
however
, there is a widely held view among people that altering business would open more opportunities.
Firstly
, their wages are able to be far superior.
Thus
, their living standard is more likely to be improved, which would enable the employers not only to afford their basic demands but
also
to save for the long-term future,
for instance
, pension, sickness or travel.
Furthermore
, the workers, especially the millennials, may challenge themselves in various positions. By doing
this
, they are thought to gain more insights and authentic skills, pushing them out of their safe zone.
Therefore
, achievements will be a result of those risks if they are the go-getter. In conclusion, people think that staff should be loyal to their company. Meanwhile, others deem that they should shift their work for some upsides. I strongly believe that individuals, to be more specific,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters, ought to lift their careers after
paying
Verb problem
making
show examples
a contribution to the workplace in one or two years so that they can jump beyond their expectations in another position.
Submitted by bonbon16319 on

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task response
Develop a more focused and balanced argument by addressing each view in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main point and use transitions to connect ideas more effectively.

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