IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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The human race works overtime and does not have enough free
time
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 to do their fun and entertainment . while working overtime a few advantages. There are
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks which are worth considering. On the one hand, there are two benefits
firstly
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, some people attempt to earn more money ,due to the fact that their take-home income is lower than their household expenses;
therefore
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, they have to
work
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 two or more shifts maybe even doing part-
time
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 in another place.
For example
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, my uncle is a teacher, because his salary average is under hose expense , so he has to
work
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 as a taxi driver after their teaching.
In addition
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, some people do not have any amusing items to spare
time
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 .
such
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 as do any sport ,go to a party and so on. They have faith to stay at
work
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 for a long
time
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, for they can spend those
time
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 .
On the other hand
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, various problems may be noted.in the
first
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 place, not only does workaholic often lead to burnout, but
also
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 workers face premature ageing . owing to their body can not repair their damaged part of the body .as an example one of my coworkers appears elder than his age after working a long
time
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 . the problem is working overtime
work
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 affects the emotion of nations .
in other words
Linking Words
, it can increase the level of stress in workers and possible growing depression. I would like to close my argument , whereas working along
time
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 has some advantages
such
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 as earning income or suitable to anyone who does not have any hobbies , has some negative points like burnout and premature ageing. I recommended the governments should create a place for spare
time
Use synonyms
 for communities.
Submitted by k.seydi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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