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Band 5.5

Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #culture #attractions #tourists #traditions
There is a heated debate that has been sparked all over the world. Some believe that the
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
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 that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been done to get tourists can destroy the traditional culture of the country.
On the other hand
, it is argued that
this
 method is the key to saving traditions too.
This
 essay will discuss both ideas including my perspective. First of all, as the advancement of technology is increasing day by day, it is easier to travel around the world despite the time or cultural differences.
In addition
, the number of people who would like to make money with tourist visitors
raise
Verb problem
rises
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 rather than before.
Besides
, The majority of people are focusing on getting money and are unaware of destroying culture.
For example
, thousands of ancient pagodas and historical buildings in Bagan, Myanmar are being wrecked by
money-maker
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money-makers
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. In order to get tourist attractions, some of them are replaced with modern buildings and theme parks.
In contrast
, it is suggested that it is the only way to save culture from being disappeared.
This
 is because if people are not making renovations to old buildings and other traditional things, they are more likely to collapse
by
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due to
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 the damage of natural disasters. What is more, by doing
this
 action, tourists will be more interested in our cultures
as well as
 getting more dollars.
Therefore
, it can be a win-win situation.
To sum up
, from my point of view, activities to persuade tourists can destroy cultures and it is not the only way to save since there are many effective ways to keep our
tradition
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traditions
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 without negative effects.
Submitted by nagendranp1991 on

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Content
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Organization
The logical structure is generally clear, but consider organizing your ideas into more cohesive paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details.

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