There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere.

#music #world #country

Nowadays,

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

genre of

music

existed Globally and has played an important role in our life. Some people are of the opinion that local

music

of a nation is more essential when compared with western

music

that is

being heard all over and I totally agree with

this

notion as it propagates culture and

maintain

Change the verb form

maintains

show examples

the history of a country. On one hand,

music

is being defined by some scholars as a medicine

Change preposition

for

show examples

the soul. It plays an important role in relaxing the mind and can

also

be used

treat

Fix the infinitive

to treat

show examples

depression.

For example

,a schizophrenic patient that suffers from depression was given

Remove the article

apply

show examples

temporary relief from his ailment as he shows

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

signs of being elevated in his mood after listening to

music

according to research carried out by

undergraduates

Change the noun form

undergraduate

show examples

students in

pneurosychiatric

Correct your spelling

neuropsychiatric

hospital Nawfia.

Furthermore

music

serves as a diversional therapy for a patient or a person

that is

experiencing excruciating pain, during listening to

music

,the nerves are calmed thereby taking away the feeling of pain momentarily.

Moreover

, the history of a country can

also

be maintained through

music

, because it never dies. Any information that was passed through

music

,tends to live on

likewise

the history of the country

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when it is propagated through

music

. To conclude,

although

has played an important role in our lives,I believe that local

music

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more beneficial when compared to western

music

Sat Jun 11 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goals.Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying online is more effective than studying on campus while others disagree. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online learning. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important schoool subjects. Othert people think that, in todays world, subjects like Science and technolog are most important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.